My kids are NOT my top priority

My kids are NOT my top priority. Let me say that of course in any life-threatening instances this would change but overall they are not. Now let me tell you why.

I’m sure many of you can relate to my story. I became a wife and mom and somehow instantly I became last on the pecking order. My world began to revolve around my kids and I bent over backwards to make sure that their every need, want, or desire was meet. And let me tell you that is not a very comfortable spot to live.

When my kids were my first priority, I suffered from anxiety and depression, I didn’t like what stared back at me in the mirror and my marriage was last on my list – never a good place. I spent years trying to be the perfect “Pinterest” mom & great wife and for what? To constantly fall sort and feel awful about myself day in and day out. 

Back in the fall of 2016, I had to stop and draw a line in the sand. I said enough was enough. I was tired of hating myself. So I made myself, my own #1 priority. It included my mental, physical & spiritual wellbeing, all of which needed some serious attention. Trust me, this was not an easy task and nothing happened overnight but I put things into motion for each area that needed tending.

Then I reprioritized my relationship with my husband next, then my children and then my career, etc. I did this for a number of reasons…

Why my kids are NOT my top priority

1. I learned that you can’t pour from an empty cup and that’s what I had been doing for years. I had to care for myself in order to be the best mom for my kids.
2. I am setting an example for my kids- of what a strong marriage looks like. At some point, I plan to be an empty-nester and I want to have a strong relationship with my husband so we’re still interested in each other long after the kids are gone.
3.  I am the person that shapes how my children see women for the 1st years of their life. I have to be the example of what a healthy confident woman is for them.
4. I needed to find my joy again and fill my bucket.  

I fully embrace that some of you may think I am being selfish. And quite honestly I’m ok with you thinking that. My truth is that self-care is not selfish. It is a necessary part of every human’s life. I have learned that it is impossible to ignore your own needs and be an asset to anyone else. If you’ve ever been on an airplane you know that they instruct you to place your own oxygen mask before assisting others.  It makes so much sense. I have learned to truly love myself and in turn have more love to give to others.

Mamas- I’d love to hear your thoughts on prioritizing yourself.